In my experience, week 1 of hiding from COVID-19 is about panic and anxiety, week 2 is about dread and making adjustments, and week 3 is about settling in. I’m still scared, frustrated, and fed up, but I’ve relied on the tactics I suggested in my cabin fever zine, and although I’m far from happy I feel like I’m pretty stable.
When I was bedridden for 3 months in 2018, I learned that my response to being trapped in a crappy situation with extremely limited movement was to 1) rearrange my surroundings to be as pleasant and usable to me as possible and 2) take stock of my mental landscape and allow myself to gently step into areas I had previously been too scared to enter. Oh, and 3) watch a whole lot of television. That’s what I’m doing now too. But this time around, I’m in much less physical pain and have a lot more mobility, which means I can also do activities I could only fantasize about when I was bedridden, like alphabetizing my books and working on messy art projects.
I hate almost everything about this situation. Nearly everyone I care about is a senior, disabled and/or chronically ill, or an essential worker, so I’m worried about them, as well as about everyone who’s at risk because of the inequalities built into the systems around us. I do not exactly have high hopes for the election or the general future of the United States. My income is dwindling and my career prospects are drying up by the day. And so on. Just like in 2018, all I can do is accept that I’ve been given this time to rest, work quietly, and be with myself. Fortunately, I know my self from last time, and he’s not such a bad guy to hang out with.
So, that’s how I’m doing. Here’s what I saw this week. I’d love to hear about how you’re doing.